


Beer Milkshake (It's a Euphemism)

by Geonn



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F, Humor, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-18
Updated: 2011-08-18
Packaged: 2017-10-22 19:11:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/241542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geonn/pseuds/Geonn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane and Maura try to deal with family issues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beer Milkshake (It's a Euphemism)

**Author's Note:**

> Contains spoilers for "Rebel Without a Pause" and general Season 2 developments.

Maura didn't mind that they had been making out on the front porch for fifteen minutes, but she was starting to worry that her neighbors might. She cupped the back of Jane's head and pulled away from her. Jane gasped and tried to lean in to continue the kiss, but Maura stopped her. "Wait, wait. We are going to take this inside at some point, right? I just want to plan ahead in case we end up naked on my driveway."

"Yeah, we'll go inside." Jane had settled for kissing Maura's eyebrow, her hands roaming from the small of Maura's back down to the curve of her ass. Maura's dress rode up her thigh slightly as she lifted her leg and hooked it against Jane's hip. "I just... I hate that I'm starting to associate your place with my mother, you know? I walk in there, and I smell her cooking and see her things laying around, and--"

"I definitely understand. I feel the same way with my mother in town. You know, knowing she could be right around the corner is like being fifteen again and sneaking a girl into my room."

Jane smiled and lowered her voice to a husky whisper. "Actually that's kind of hot." She pressed tighter against Maura and grinded against her, making Maura whimper. "Can I crawl in your bedroom window?"

"There's a screen on it. For bugs. I'd have to take it down, and it's a--"

"Maura." Jane sighed and kissed Maura's neck. "Unlock the damn door."

Maura smiled and turned, the keys that she'd already taken from her purse held out. She slipped the key into the lock and pushed the door open. They fell into the foyer, kissing again as Maura dumped the keys on the table beside the door. Jane pulled on Maura's thighs, and Maura jumped, and Jane accepted her weight as they moved toward the bedroom. They stepped into the living room and Jane heard a strangely loud moan coming from Maura's already occupied mouth.

Jane broke the kiss, turned toward the sound, and nearly dropped Maura to the floor. "Ma?"

"Janey?!"

"Mother!" Maura jumped away from Jane, tugging her dress into place.

"Oh... Maura."

" _Ma_!" Jane was only capable of the single syllable.

Angela Rizzoli and Constance Isles pulled away from each other, their bodies thankfully hidden from view by the arm of the sofa. Angela grabbed an afghan and tossed it over both of them, and Constance clutched the weave to her chest in a futile attempt to hide the fact her blouse was completely undone.

No one moved, no one spoke. Finally, Jane said, "Geez, ma, when you said you were going to show Maura's mom the sights of Boston, I had no idea..."

"Now who is the one not knocking?" Angela said, shifting uncomfortably on the couch. "Look, just let us explain."

Jane laughed. "I am _all_ ears."

Constance cleared her throat. "This is our beer milkshake."

Maura leaned close to Jane and whispered, "It's a euphemism." She caught Jane's look, her eyes widened, and she retreated to a safe distance.

"Technically more of a metaphor, darling," Constance said. "You see, for years, I have denied myself the things that simply didn't conform to my image of myself. Greasy hamburgers, milkshakes, cop bars. Drinking beer from the bottle." She took Angela's hand and looked at her with a smile. "The pleasure of another woman's company. It had been years since I allowed myself that small pleasure."

"Aunt Sheila!" Maura smiled.

"She wasn't really your aunt. Seeing how you are with Jane opened my eyes, Maura. I decided why not? Why not truly experience life?"

Maura was still smiling. "So I inspired you?"

"Yes, darling, you did."

Jane was still glaring at Angela. "How about you, what's your excuse?"

Angela shrugged. "I've been married to your father for most of my life, what, I can't sow a wild oat or two? Constance is a beautiful woman. Besides, you're with Maura. That has to come from somewhere."

"You're saying I inherited a _gay gene_ from you?"

"You certainly didn't get it from your father!"

"There's no gay gene, Ma!"

Maura held out her hand. "Well, research indicates that sexual orientation is caused by a combination of genetic, hormonal and environmental factors. Growing up in a household full of men may have influenced your development in a way that--" She met Jane's gaze and blinked innocently, like a doe in the headlights. "All I'm saying is that while there's no--"

"You aren't helping me," Jane whispered.

"Sorry."

Angela stood up, taking the afghan with her. "Look. It's not like this is a relationship. It's just two lonely women getting to know each other. And getting to know ourselves in the process."

"That was very well said, Mrs. Rizzoli."

"Thank you, Maura."

Jane communicated her desire to sew Maura's mouth shut with her eyes.

Maura responded with a widening of the eyes that said, 'Oh, shut up and be happy for her.'

Jane narrowed her eyes and turned back to Angela. "Let's just all go to bed and discuss this in the morning. Or, God willing, a plane will crash into the house and save us the trouble."

"There isn't a flight path over this neighborhood." Maura spoke low and quickly, knowing she would draw Jane's ire but unable to stop herself. She shrugged her apology and hurried past the couch to the bedroom.

Jane waved her hands at the two older women in defeat. "Just... ugh. Try not to make too much noise, okay?"

"Same to you, dear," Constance said.

Jane trudged down the hall after Maura, rubbing her temples to eliminate the throb that had ignited behind her eyes.

#

Maura rolled over and pressed against Jane, eager to continue what had started on the porch. She frowned as she pressed against Jane's side and lifted her head. "What are you wearing?"

"Pajamas." Jane sounded like she was speaking through clenched teeth.

Maura lifted the blanket and, in the dim light, saw that Jane was wearing thick flannel pajama bottoms and a button-down blouse over a white T-shirt.

"Jane, you're being ridiculous."

"Hey, you saw the same thing I did. I don't know how you can be horny again in the same _century_ , let alone the same night. In the same house." She pounded her pillow with the back of her head. "I can't hear anything. I don't know if I should be relieved or terrified."

Maura returned to her side of her bed, curled on her side to watch Jane. "They seemed happy."

"Yeah, and what's the best case scenario there? They get married - which they could, in this state - and this whole thing becomes creepy and incestuous. You'd be my stepsister."

"Adopted stepsister. I wouldn't be blood-related to anyone in the family, so it still wouldn't be incest."

"It would be close enough to make me go _yeeechl_ every time the thought popped into my head."

"What was that noise?"

"Never mind." She sighed and closed her eyes. "God. Maybe your mom went back to her hotel."

"Maybe."

Jane turned her head and looked at Maura. She examined Maura's face and realized the other angle to what they had just witnessed. "Your mom approves of you."

Maura's lips spread into a wide smile. She averted her gaze, and Jane found her hand under the blankets.

"I know how huge that is to you, Maura. I shouldn't have been so quick to focus on my issues about the whole... the whole thing." Jane pushed herself up, keeping her hand on Maura's. She tucked Maura's hair behind her ear and smiled at her. "Besides, it's not like I can blame her. We Rizzoli gals have an incurable weakness for Isles women."

Maura kissed Jane, and Jane returned the kiss with a slowly building passion. Jane pushed Maura gently down and shifted her weight, throwing one leg over Maura's waist. She settled on her lap and ran her hands down the silk front of Maura's pajama top. "So. Wanna finish what we started on the porch?"

"Maybe." They kissed again. "Although I'm kind of in the mood for a beer milkshake."

Jane shuddered. "Never again say the words 'beer' or 'milkshake' in this bed."

"Deal."

Jane smiled and kissed Maura again, pulling the blankets up over them just in case someone happened to wander in on them.


End file.
